Originally posted: June 9, 2006 @ 4:32am PST

 

I own a Playstation 2. It’s quite dusty because I rarely play it. I’ll rent or buy video games, blister my thumbs for a week or so and then gradually forget about them. It’s not that I don’t enjoy them, it’s just that I can rarely stay interested in them long enough to beat them. One such game that I rented a while back was Blood Rayne 2. I’d not even heard of it, but that was what glittersoul picked up when I asked her to get me a game. I wanted something action laden and Blood Rayne the game certainly delivered!

Blood Rayne the movie was certainly full of action, as well. Before I set out to write up my review I skimmed through some reviews on various other sites. They hated the movie. They hate Uwe Boll (the movie’s director). I mean, we’re talking absolutely DESPISE the man. They’re equating Bloodrayne, the movie, with all sorts of products of generally distasteful-to-mention-in-polite-company bodily functions. Frankly, I was appalled at the viscious attacks I read. I strongly disagree with these jerks and I’ll tell you why…

For starters, the movie is gorgeous. It’s set in Romania and from what my research shows, it was actually shot there (atleast partially) as well. The time period of the movie seems to be medieval and I believe it’s a pre-cursor to the games. There’s great shots of picturesque places with horses thundering across the land, there are villages teeming with peasants and magnificent castles. Costume design for the film was quite good and some of the hairstyles were particularly inventive, particularly for Domastir (Will Sanderson, also of House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark).

Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3 and many roles in TV shows such as Boy Meets World, Sliders and Just Shoot Me) plays Bloodrayne and does a damned fine job at it. Man is that chick tall! She’s pretty good in her fight scenes and the sex scene she shares with Sebastian (Matthew Davis) is one of the best I’ve seen in a long time. Bloodrayne is a dhamphir, which is a half-human/half-vampire. Since the both the game and movie are more action-based than dramatic, we don’t see hours of character development, but considering the film’s genre I find that perfectly acceptable.

Despite the protests of countless reviewers, I found the acting quite good. It’s not serious and sometimes it can be a bit melodramatic but it gets the job done and it’s FUN. I’m not quite sure why so many people don’t grasp that a movie based on a VIDEO GAME, of all things, should be entertaining above all else. Meatloaf (the vocalist who would do nearly anything for love) makes an appearance and we get to see him die. I found that alone worth the rental. Really, though, he did an excellent job playing a rotting dilettante. I particularly enjoyed Elrich (Billy Zane) and his contemptuous, bored character who gives the most honest portrayal of political figure I’ve ever seen.

The gore in this movie was obviously high, being a vampire movie and everything. There are buckets of blood, dismemberments, decapitations and all manner of death. Just like in the game, the violence is way over the top. I’m not the world’s biggest fan of bloody special effects but these were okay, very cheesy but generally okay. I did have one tiny little issue, though. In the sword combat scenes I noticed that the swords (and other blade weapons - even the one Bloodrayne uses) don’t look all that sharp. I found this disappointing as I like to think the cast (or atleast the stunt people) are taking lethal risks to entertain me. Selfish, I know.

Bloodrayne isn’t a masterpiece of storytelling or a profound statement on morality or anything like that, but it is a damned fine way to spend an hour and a half in front of a television set. The DVD has lots of special features but I don’t see the point in reviewing those. Isn’t that a clever way to excuse myself from not watching them? So, for an end score I’ll give Bloodrayne 5 out of 5 because I enjoyed the hell out of it and I spit on those who can’t relax long enough to appreciate a freakin’ film about vampires that doesn’t brood forever like a PMSing emo girl.

Until next time, this is GlowStormLion daring you to watch something everyone else apparently hates and applauding Uwe Boll for being such a maverick.

-- by GlowStormLion of http://www.happyhorror.com

Tags: action, dhampir, dvd, horror, movie, unrated, uwe boll, vampire, video game

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